Our response to the YMCA....

I am still shocked by the treatment we received yesterday at the Y. Last night I discussed everything with Josh. I explained to him that I can not handle another issue right now. I usually handle everything in our home, but mentally I can not take another thing!... my focus needs to be on Jonathan's health, not the Y! So Josh agreed to write a letter to the director and see what happens from there.

I wasn't able to sleep last night after the confrontation. What upsets me the most is that all 3 of the kids were hurt by the words and actions of this man. As a parent, I want to shelter my children from the pain the world can sometimes inflict upon us, but I know that is not always possible.

I don't think that I mentioned this yesterday, but I was so proud of Jackson... when this man was explaining to me that Jonathan could not come back, Jackson and Alexis started to cry (I was sobbing at this point), the man looked at Jack and said something like "oh don't worry, you both (meaning Alexis and Jackson) can still come. It's just your brother can't go into childcare" Jackson replied "I DON"T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY BROTHER!" My heart swelled with pride! Alexis and Jackson LOVE Jonathan so much... and our family is so blessed to have him in our lives! He has taught us so much and maybe he will teach the staff at the Y a lesson in how to treat people who are a little different!

I find it very interesting that when we did some research we found that there have been quite a few law suites against Y's around the country for this very reason, so obviously the YMCA needs to rethink their mission statement!

This is the letter that Josh emailed to the President/Director of our local YMCA. We are waiting for his response:

Hi Mike - I doubt you'll remember me, but we met a few months back when you came and spoke to the Jaycees at lunch. We talked a little about membership and my coaching soccer for a few seasons with the Y's youth program. Anyway, I betting you have probably already been made aware of a situation yesterday with my family and your staff, particularly Dave Holmes. Let me begin by saying that I am sorely disappointed with the YMCA and very much angered by Mr. Holmes actions. How dare this man and your facility deny to provide childcare to my handicap son! This is clear-cut discrimination and violates the Americans with Disabilities Act. As an organization receiving funding from the government, you are lawfully required to be inclusive of all persons, even those which are handicapped. But, more than that, this is the YMCA - do you recall what the "C" stands for? I would have never dared expect this sort of action from a Christian organization.

Now, that said, it goes far beyond simply excluding my son from childcare. The manner in which Mr. Holmes publicly confronted my wife and family is an atrocity. As I understand it, he berated her within minutes of her walking into the facility. He continued to verbally attack her as she was crying and distraught - all while standing right out in the middle of everything, just a short distance back from the check-in desk. He did not politely ask her so come to his office to discuss this matter. Or, better still, he did not call our home - nor did you for that matter - to discuss this prior to my wife bringing our three children out to enjoy an afternoon at the Y. He decide that the best approach would be to give her a surprise attack as soon as she walked in the building. There is a right way to handle things and there is a wrong way - he clearly chose the WRONG way! He chose to be a jackass - I apologize, but there seems to be no better term to describe him.

So, at this point, my most pressing question for you, Mike, is how much of this were you aware of beforehand. Mr. Holmes' wife, Beverly - who tells us that she is "in charge" of childcare - stated that she discussed this matter with you. So, did you ok the decision to exile my handicapped son from childcare? Was this your call, your decision, and your intent? And, who made the decision not to make a simple phone call to our home to discuss this matter? Which incompetent fool figured . . . Hey, why don't we just wait till she and her kids get here then corner them in the hall and make a spectacle for all our staff and members to watch? This behavior by Mr. Holmes is atrocious. The only saving grace for your facility is that his behavior is directly contrary to every other staff member there. Everyone else has been very warm and welcoming. Up to this point, every visit we've had has been a pleasant experience. For this jerk to ruin the good actions of so many would be unfair, however it is none the less concerning.

The damage has been done. My wife has gone back and forth from anger to grief over this situation. Having a child with a disability is challenge enough. We've learned to deal with the stares and pointing at restaurants or grocery stores or wherever else. But at the YMCA - are you kidding me! Where are this man's Christian values? My son cried to me last night saying "its all his fault" - do you have any idea what that is like? I'm lost. I cannot comprehend this action. Part of me wants to sue the pants off of your facility - and, yes, I've already spoke to an attorney friend of mine. Another part wants to come visit Mr. Holmes and dare him to speak to me in the tone which he brandish to my wife. But, beneath it all, what we really want is for our son to be accepted. He has a disability - he is not violent, he does not have the plague, he just a little boy who has some trouble walking.

I encourage you to call me once you've had a chance to get to the bottom of this matter. Please, ask some of your staff members about this encounter - plenty of them witnessed the spectacle. One was actually overheard saying "I can't believe he is being such a jerk" referring to Mr. Holmes actions. This will not stand. My cell phone number is ***-***-****. I have a few things going on today, work obligations and such, but would welcome your call. If I can't answer, please leave me a message with your number and a good time to call back. Mike, from all I've seen and heard of you, you seem to be a good guy. I strongly encourage you to not take this lightly. Mr. Holmes is way out of line here - I seriously question how he can be allow to represent you and your facility. But, ultimately that decision lies in your hands. I simply look forward to hearing back from you with an appropriate resolution to this matter.

Sincerely,
Josh Trawick