Today I was in the bathroom getting ready when I heard a strange sound, I looked out the bathroom door and Jonathan was crawling around the corner (keep in mind that with each move he was moaning and groaning!). I yelled "what in the world are you doing?" He said "well, I've got something to say!" (that's one of his favorite phrases) Ok, when doesn't he have something to say? And besides, what he wanted to tell me was not something that was so urgent that he needed to get out of the bed for!
Another time he was reaching for something and he fell out of the bed (toddler bed with side rails). Then another time I found him on his belly in the bed doing push ups! And he wonders why he is in soooo much pain at night. I think he has a bad case of cabin fever! He has every toy you can think of, the big screen TV with endless movie choices, a comfy bed... but all the boy wants is to be "normal" again. And I don't blame him one bit!!!!! He actually said to me "mommy when is this back thing going to be done?...I just want to be a boy again!" That made me want to cry! Did I do the right thing by putting him through this surgery? When I think of the long term - I would say yes it was the right thing to do. He will have the chance to walk, run, and play like a normal child. And I can already see a huge difference in his height and ability to move his arms and legs. But in this very moment, I see him in this pain, and worry that if he moves the wrong way he could be injured more so than he was before... gosh, I don't know. I guess I'm feeling some kind of mommy guilt. Seeing your child in this much pain can make you feel awful! I just wish I could take that pain from him!
On the brighter side, He needs a new car seat because he is soooo much taller! And he no longer fits into his stroller! One week ago both of these items fit him perfectly, but now that his spine is so straight and his legs are able to stretch out his has grown a few inches!!!!
We go back to the Children's hospital tomorrow (Thursday) morning to have his staples removed and he has a check-up with the Neurosurgeon. My MIL is taking Alexis and Jackson on a field trip to The World Of Coke and possibly the Titanic Exhibit while I have Jon at the hospital. Then I'm going to meet up with her, drop Jonathan off and I am off to the DR. I am getting injections in my spine AGAIN ~ I have a degenerative spine problem and lifting Jonathan has aggravated it. So if I am feeling ok tomorrow afternoon/evening I will update the blog.
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2 comments:
It is so easy to second guess our decisions when our children are in pain. While this is in no way on the same scale as Jonathan's operation, I felt the same way when the boys were circumcised. You are right, in the long run this will benefit him greatly and he will thank you. All of the pain will be a distant memory soon and he will be running around again! Hoping the appointment was a success today!
Hi from Germany,
your blog is very intersting!
My son, Fabian, age 10, is wheelchair bound since he fell from a tree two years ago.
It was a very hard time for all of us after Fabians accident. The moment when the doctor told us, that Fabian is paralyzed and the moment when we must told him that he never walk again, was so terrible. Especially terrible was the day, when Fabian got his first wheelchair. I still cry when I saw him sitting in his wheelchair at the first time.
But Fabian is so brave! I am so proud of him.
Since his accident Fabian visits a school for special needs kids. All other kids in his class are disabled, too. The most kids must use a wheelchair, tree kids can walk with a walker / quad canes.
Every Saturday Fabian visits a sport group for children in wheelchairs. Two hours they play together in their wheelchairs. It is so funny for the kids.
Two month ago he got a new “Spidermann”-wheelchair.
If you are interest I will send you a photo of him in his new wheelchair.
Best wishes Katja
(Katja.Kretzler@web.de)
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